The Starclan Games
by CrimsonWarrior9785
Summary: What if Bluestar had the random idea to have a Hunger Games in Starclan? I thought of this after reading The Day it Rained Catmint by Rainleaf the Spy. Hope you enjoy the humor!
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my attempt at Warriors/Hunger Games humor. If you do not think my sense of humor is funny, keep your mouth shut, 'cos I bet there are some people who do.**

"What if Starclan had a Hunger Games? No? No one?" Bluestar waited for someone to reply. Everyone just kind of sat there.

"Uh, Bluestar? What's a Hunger Games?" Lionheart asked.

"SHUT UP!" Bluestar screeched in a voice most cats refer to as her Demon Yowl. "YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS, YOU JUST HAVE TO SLIT EACHOTHER'S THROATS AND DRINK THE BLOOD!" (Sorry children that last bit was a bit gory.)

"Uh, Bl-"

"SHUT UP!"

"But-"

"NO!"

"BLUESTAR!" This was a new voice. The voice of Yellowfang. "Wouldn't be bad if we all killed each other?"

"Heck no!" Hollyleaf howled. "HUNGER GAMES! HUNGER GAMES!" Then, she ran around in circles chanting until she collapsed in the way of a true fan girl.

"And this is Starclan. We can use our mystical powers of awesomeness to make it work," Bluestar said.

"Then it's settled," Hollyleaf said. "LET THE FIRST ANNUAL STARCLAN GAMES BEGIN!"

"Uh, Hollyleaf, I think this will more likely be a one-time deal," Lionheart interrupted.

"Whatever. Why ya' got be such a hater?"

**I realize that's a bit short but it's only the prologue. More on the way! Feel free to comment.**

**CrimsonWarrior9785**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so I figured you might wanna know who's from each district when it starts, so here it goes. Btw I'm doing this almost entirely randomly. Some cats may be from the Dark Forest. Also, at this time all the cats who were still alive during The Last Hope are dead. I know. SO cheerful. And I couldn't leave out the medicine cats.**

Announcer: Bluestar (of course)

District 1: Tigerstar and Mapleshade

District 2: Hawkfrost and Frostfur

District 3: Jayfeather and Ivypool

District 4: Flametail and Mousefur

District 5: Nightstar and Hollyleaf

District 6: Breezepelt and Crowfeather (I know. BAD idea. And District 6 had an exception and were allowed to leave out a female tribute.)

District 7: Purdy and Leafpool

District 8: Brokenstar and Dovewing

District 9: Stonefur and Mistystar

District 10: Firestar and Russetfur

District 11: Graystripe and Yellowfang

District 12: Lionblaze and Cinderheart

**Hehehe Lionblaze and Cinderheart are like Katniss and Peeta. That's great. Comment on who you think should win and your general opinions as long as you aren't rude.**

**CrimsonWarrior9785**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hellooo! You will be pleased to know that this is where The Starclan Games actually begins! Despite all requests, I have decided on a winner I think everyone will be okay with, Rue is not an actual character, this is nothing like the movie, and yes, they will come back to life. I have special plans for that (mwa-ha-ha!). LET THE GAMES BEGIN!**

In Bluestar's makeshift capitol, everyone was enjoying the Hunger Games. Bluestar especially was pleased, because the Starclan cats were so wonderfully random. She herself sat at a superdy duperdy high tech compuker, switching camera angles and announcing. She switched to a view of, as that seemed like as good a place as any to start.

Holleyleaf was standing on her podium, waiting for the games to start. However, she was doing this in her own unique way.

"Alright everyone," Bluestar announced. "This is Hollyleaf, the female tribute from District 5. As the countdown continues, Hollyleaf is apparently having some sort of nervous fit."

What Bluestar assumed was a nervous fit was actually Hollyleaf singing a song about Loki, her favorite marvel character of all time. She was also dancing quite spasmodically (look it up, folks), which was why anyone could assume she was having a seizure standing up. As Bluestar had been speaking, she had been singing the line: "I am Loki, unfortunate brother of Thor. Bow down to me, and not my ridiculous blond adoptive sibling. He is a total Disney princess." As you can see, Hollyleaf was a true fangirl die hard, as it took effort to jam that many words in one line.

As Hollyleaf went into the chorus with incredible bravado, Bluestar switched her camera to Tigerstar. "Folks, this is Tigerstar of District 1. He appears to be plotting, although I suppose he might be either constipated or using the force. It's anyone's guess."

At that moment, Tigerstar sensed a great disturbance in the force and decided he had a blue she-cat to beat the stuffing out of pretty soon.

Bluestar switched camera view again, as Tigerstar was actually pretty boring, and all Bluestar had really switched the view to him for anyways was to make that ridiculous joke.

Now she was viewing Lionblaze, who was staring dreamily at Cinderheart. Several cats threw up on the spot, and others had to be rushed to the restroom. As a small pile of vomit landed beside Bluestar's paws, she decided it might be smart to show someone else.

But actually, it was a bit late for that, as the countdown had just reached ten. "Ten, nine eight," Bluestar counted. "Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!"

**Now, I hope you weren't looking for something serious. Let that be someone else's job. Naw, this just gets more hilariously wonderful as it goes along. I hope you enjoyed my jokes and will keep reading!**

**CrimsonWarrior9785**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, just a quick reminder, I generally put news about my fanfictions on my profile. I'm so glad this has so many views! Thank you all so much! I have gotten a few people who asked me if anyone would die, and no, not really. They respawn in the Capitol. Plus, I am now accepting OCs to play Capitol cats! Just fill this out as a reveiw:**

**Name:**

**Appearance:**

**Personality:**

Unfortunately, Jayfeather died within the first two minutes. It was really quite disappointing. He turned and ran. This would be a smart plan, were it not for the fact that a cliff yawned directly behind his platform. He ran right off the cliff, ironically yowling: "I SO DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!"

He respawned in the Capitol. Bluestar trotted over to him. "Fear not, for I have a _plan_ for you, Jayfeather. MWA HA HA HA HA!" At that point she started rubbing her paws together evilly. Then, unfortunately, Jayfeather pointed out that cats aren't able to move that way, and the fourth wall briefly interrupted the story. (THANK YOU INTERESTINGINDEED FOR THAT MARVELOUS IDEA)

Lionblaze and Cinderheart padded calmly through the forest, idly chatting, blissfully unaware that they were being stalked.

"And then, Sorreltail was like: Nu uh, girl, those pants are FABULOUS," Cinderheart said. Lionblaze laughed, pretending to care.

"You cockroach-breathing marshmallow!" Some cat howled. Cinderheart and Lionblaze turned around to see Jayfeather spitting insults at them.

"Jayfeather? What are you doing here? Aren't you dead?" Lionblaze asked.

"I am a Mocking Jay," Jayfeather said.

Lionblaze and Cinderheart simultaneously face-pawed. Then Jayfeather followed them for the next twenty six miles until finally Lionblaze and Cinderheart climbed a tree and hurled themselves off of it, hitting the ground with a highly entertaining and ridiculously comical splat. Jayfeather disappeared. His work here was done.

**So what did you think of my horrible pun and fourth wall joke?**

**CrimsonWarrior9785**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you Potatotheumbreon and Stream That Flows Around Rock for letting me use your OCs! That's still open, by the way. I still need Capitol cats. But anywho, on with the story.**

"I have a message for you," Flamestorm said. "Jayfeather says he is unsatisfied and wishes for you to meet him in the darkest ally and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I already know. He came by earlier. I have a personal body-guard now. Meet Darkdream." Then, Bluestar clapped to beckon her new friend and no one pointed out how impossible that was because everyone now feared the fourth wall greatly, as there had been many sightings since The Hunger Games began.

Darkdream dropped from the ceiling and pinned Flamestorm to the ground. "LEAVE BLUESTAR ALONE OR I SHALL SUMMONE THE MAGICAL FART WIZARDS AND YOUR NOSTRILS SHALL SUFFER ETERNALLY!"

"Gah! NO! HAVE MERCY ON MY NOSE! I came with a message and I was rudely interrupted by a falling butt!" Flamestorm cried. Bluestar impossibly clapped her paws together again and Darkdream clambered off.

"Come come, children. We have The Games to watch," Bluestar said.

On the screen, Tigerstar was attempting to eat nightlock berries. Although, every time he put one close enough to his nose, he said, "EW!" and threw it to the ground. Why he continued picking them up was a mystery, as it seemed to be utterly pointless. Finally, Hawkfrost blundered into the clearing, and instantaneously died. Everyone who had placed bets on him sobbed for exactly three hours straight and then were attacked by the fourth wall because they pointed out to the author how oddly specific that was. Then, all of the Hawkfrost fans were further disappointed because Bluestar didn't reuse him in some hilarious punny way. There was much rioting in the capitol that day.

Meanwhile, Tigerstar decided he was going to have another go at the force but he lost so many brain cells in the process that he forgot what he was doing and ran into a tree screaming that he was the master of all. Yellowfang came by and painted a mustache on his face with nightlock juice. A deadly mustachio. Tigerstar licked his lips in the morning and died.

Meanwhile, back at the capitol, Bluestar was plotting. Something needed to be done about the fourth wall attacks. The capitol needed an OC so incredible that they could defeat it and the capitol cats could be free to make whatever not right comments they wanted with no fear.

**Sorry I haven't added on in like a month! I have now, though. I need the super OC. Feel free to make them as stupid as wanted and I shall chose amongst hopefully many. The stupidest OC might actually be chosen for this deadly task…**

**CrimsonWarrior9785**


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